Difficult to say Goodbye

There's always posts that you dread to do but need to in order to move on. I have alot of posts and updates some I most likely will never get too, but one that is the hardest to do. I had a horrible time submitting my post about little Rachel and now need to do it again. There is nothing harder then having to say Goodbye to some one you cared about family or friend. Tomorrow is 7 months since we lost our sweet angel. Its not something you easily get over. I may seem fine and like I have moved on but deep down hidden I cant seem too. I have however learned to keep going day by day. I get to re-learn this lesson again and its nothing close to easy, but could not have been able to do so with out the help of my family and friends for just being there.

Our best friend Skyler Lewis passed away about a week and half ago. It came as a shock and nothing close to reality. I say the word "Our" best friend because he touched so many lives in his days. One of the best of the best. I can remember when I heard. I was sleeping early as I was already frustrated and upset about other personal matters and then was wide awake for some reason. I heard mike mumble something in the other room and melissa comment but didnt make out the words. The next thing I know Melissa is knocking on my door, she opens it and tells me the news. I will not forget her face when she told me. Afterwords we just sat/stood there for minutes with out saying anything. All I could say is how and I dont know how to react. It didnt seem real. We just talked to him on friday. He came to get the top of his BBQ and was making fun of me because I didnt understand why he would only want the top of it. (By the way the rest is still here) and he mentioned wanting to do another BBQ soon and then he was gone. I can still see him leave. A little later that night I broke, it hit and I couldnt understand. Melissa was talking to Mike and I couldnt stand to be there any more so I went for a drive. I made it to Centerville and hit something on the side of the freeway and had to pull off the exit. (At the time I didnt know where I was or what exit I took) It turned out I had flat tire and with mikes help through text everytime I got frustrated with it I finally got it changed and thankful it was only my tire I need to replace headed home before it turned worse. Monday was horrible once the news hit everyone else. The texts, and calls, and I for what ever reason tried to go to work for half day. I couldnt handle it and left. We did the viewing on Thursday and I refused to see him, after alot of coaxing I finally did and it definatly was not Sky. We got to meet his family and Mandie's mom. (We all wanted Mandie and Sky to hook up, Melissa most of all) They were very close. Before the Funeral the next day a group of us went to have Garlic Burgers and Beer in his memory. At the funeral I ran into a lady I used to work with at Walmart and did Mary Kay through: Claire. I love her and she was always one of the sweetest ladys. It turns out skylers brother in law is her brother. small world. Later that night we went to his familys and hung out until around midnight.

I first met Skyler four years ago in 2006 through work. I dont remember what team I was on at the time (we both moved around alot through the departments) I worked on training him for the position although you would soon find out its more the other way around. Skyler trained us and continued to do so through out the years. He exceled at everything he set his mind too. It landed him many recognitions through the years both in the Partner Support Center and then again on the sales floor. He also pushed you to do your best and when he thought it wasnt good enough would push even harder. Even with my new position he talked me through many fears and frustrations. He made you know you could do it. He had talked me through idea's on how to work with my partners and that once I get through the initial transition stage I could do great. He also talked to me that I should work towards eventually getting in the same territory so we could travel to the same accounts or moving over to the EB (different product line) so we could be on the same teams. Skyler was the go to person for any one who knew him at work. I have not met many people who have really connected with some one at work the way everyone did with Skyler. Including upper management. Even our distributor rep was devastated because she "adored" Skyler. I cant say how much I love my job and the people I get to work with. You cant top it.

Skyler was not only a great co-worker but an awesome friend. We have always done hang outs outside of work. From bowling, Laser Tag, Haunted Houses back in the day, the Fair, Movies, Lunches and dinners with friends (Rubio's Fish Taco Tuesdays), parties and just plain hanging with friends. Skyler was the center for the majority of the parties we threw: Birthday, Congratulations, or welcome homes. Decorated his room on many occasions, and desk at work. He was also there to talk to when ever you needed it. He would make you smile when you werent doing so well. I remember having swedish fish wars one night "Because they wanted to go swimming" Kicks if I wouldnt stop talking at night, and a 3 am limit for texting. He was one of the first friends to offer to help when I finally decided to leave my marriage. He let me come over and hang out when needed, and he was there the next night after Rachel passed. I was a mess and he made sure I was ok. I found out two days later I owed him a new Jacket. Needless to say I do not remember much that night and the next day was miserable. There is only one friend that I could say was closer to me and that would be Melissa.

As much as I miss Skyler and nothing will be the same I am finally moving on. If you tried to talk to me last week I am sorry. I was a mess and pushed alot of people close to me away. I am sooo upset with myself for acting that way to those I care about the most, its nothing close to who I am. I am so thankful that everyone stuck by either way. This week I am more back to myself. I am focusing on work and keeping as busy as possible. I just wish I could make it easier for those even closer to skyler. It pains me to know you cant help ease the pain. I may think it hurts but I cant imagine going through what our friends Bill and Mandie are facing and even Sky's family. They seem so wonderful and you know he loved them.

This is most likely the longest post I have ever done so I will be surprised if any one makes it this far. Skyler will never be forgotten and we will all miss him greatly. You can never completely fill the void that is left. But through words of a friend: "Loss is one of the hardest things to go through.. sometimes it can be reason for those left behind to become even greater. XO" I hope I can be greater but I dont feel like I am doing enough.

RIP Skyler

1988-2011